The first tale I heard of JIM that fateful day I fell into his world, was when Melody first met him..Melody is a beautiful petite little blonde, JIM is a big, ugly, scary man..Just to help the scenario here.. Melody went to visit her mother and her new husband..But JIM was not there when she arrived, so she decided to go out and lay by the pool.. Well..JIM arrived home, took a peek out the window and saw this gorgeous blonde next to the pool..JIM springs into action!!! In a way only he could do.. He decides to don his "Home Of The Whopper" speedo trunks, they actually say that, prison tattoo's all over him, and parade around in front of Melody..Needless to say, Melody was not very impressed with this new man in her mothers so called life..

Now you have to understand this JIM character.. He has poor Mona hoodwinked into believing he has a rich uncle in France, with an "800" number mind you, that is going to give him millions..Funny, when I was in France they didn't have "800" numbers..Of course this number is off limits for anyone to call, only he knows it..But by god he swears it exists! He has his mythical lawfirm of Dewey, Cheatem and Howe, that will authenticate this story..Too bad they don't have a phone number

Even with all these millions coming from this mysterious, castle owning, Frenchman..JIM feels he doesn't have enough..He has threatened the family with numerous lawsuits..Some of my favorites are, just recently, a Class Action Suit naming everyone in the family..The reason for the suit? Because they don't like him..and people wonder why the courts are so tied up..Another good one..Knowing Grandma Brenda has quite a bit of money and some good land holdings, he intends to sue for the rights to her inheritance..He is not her son..She would just as soon kill him as look at him..But alas, once again eating up the courts..and we've only just begun..

The first time I met JIM, he came pulling up in a huge truck, with a sticker on the back window that read "The Cowboy Way", curious to say the least.. When he stepped out of the vehicle, I thought I was in a Clint Eastwood movie..He had the hat, the poncho, the whole nine yards!!he proceeded to announce to me that he was "goin fishin" He was a trout expert, and wanted to know if I wanted to tag along so he could show me how to fish them..I considered this until he came back downstairs covered from head to toe in camouflage neoprene..All you could see was his face..I decided to go golf instead, needless to say he didn't catch a thing..I think the fish were too busy laughing at him to bite!

Now JIM claims to be a "master chef"..So you would assume he could use a bread machine..But alas, at a relatives house he spied one and intended to show off his cooking prowess..He didn't quite understand that you need the paddle hooked up to knead the dough however..No matter how many buttons and combinations of buttons he pushed, the water, flour and yeast just sat there..Not wanting to look "foolish" he decided that it was time to get rid of the evidence..So he proceeded to pour the contents of the bread machine into the garbage disposal..Once turning on the garbage disposal, he discovered the paddle, as it was being chewed up and spewing the contents of the breadmaker all over the kitchen! He is no longer allowed in this house..But the breadmaker remains under the counter until the family is rid of him..